Do you really weight 270 Pounds?

Yep. Sad but true. My friends say that I “carry my weight well” and that I don’t “seem” fat to them. But I have to assume that they say that only because they’re friends, right? I mean, not too many friends would say, “Wow, Mike, you’re like really letting yourself go! Cool!”.

You Really Don’t Know How To Cook?

Nope. Don’t let the Hong Kong Beef recipe fool you. I stole it from a magazine and made it my own (the magazine’s version was way too complicated). My oven hasn’t worked in almost a year (but the stove-top part still does, for whatever reason). I mean, yeah sure, I’ve cooked mac-and-cheese and I’ve heated up a can of beans and made Campbell’s soup in a pinch…but nothing that involved, you know, like, ingredients. And before you ask…no, my wife doesn’t cook either. We eat out every night (or order takeout, yum).

Why Aren’t There Dates on Your Blog Posts?

Because I am unreliable, that’s why. You might expect me to blog every day or two if there were dates attached to the posts, right? Well, I don’t want to disappoint you. I may stick with this project for 3 weeks then all of a sudden decide that I’d rather be a fat old bastard…then what? I’d be disappointed, you’d be disappointed…it just seems like a whole lot of drama can be avoided buy simply removing the posting date.