I read ‘Skinny Bastard‘ while on vacation in Cape Cod this week. This book was written for guys by the chicks who brought you the New York Times Bestseller, ‘Skinny Bitch‘. It was absolutely freaking hilarious and very informative. I loved the book so much that I also picked up their vegan cookbook, ‘Skinny Bitch In the Kitchen’ (also a New York Times Bestseller, if I am not mistaken), and I read that cover-to-cover as well.

Anyway, here is an adaption of their ‘Bitchtastic Brownies’ recipe. I say ‘adaption’, because I wasn’t able to find some of the weird ingredients that they called for at my local supermarket (which is a major East coast grocery chain and pretty well stocked).

They tasted great. I may have jumped the gun and cut them a bit too early (before they were totally cooled) because they crumbled a little and didn’t hold their shape so well. Regardless, no one will be able to tell that these are ‘vegan’. Do your friends a favor and bring this treat to your next party. And explain what ‘vegan’ is *only* after they tell you how delicious and awesome they were.

BTW, I recommend the book, ‘Skinny Bastard‘ without reservation. It was a great read. For $10 it just might save your life.

Vegan Brownie Ingredients

• 5 Ounces Unsweetened Vegan Chocolate, Melted
• 1 1/4 Cup Organic Sugar
• 3/4 Cup Silken Tofu
• 6 Tablespoons Sunflower Oil
• 1 Tablespoons Organic Vanilla Extract
• 1/3 Whole Wheat Pastry Flour
• 2 Tablespoons Unsweetened Cocoa Powder
• 1/4 Teaspoons Sea Salt
• 1 Tablespoon Chopped Walnuts

Bitchtastic Instructions

1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees and grease a 8×8 inch baking pan with the sunflower oil.
2. Melt the unsweetened chocolate in the microwave 2 minutes at a time on half power, stirring in between. It took me three (2 minute) rounds for me to melt it completely.
3. In a food processor, add the melted chocolate, sugar, tofu, oil, and vanilla and process until smooth.
4. Add in the wheat pastry flour, cocoa powder and salt and pulse until combined.
5. Spread the brownie batter into the baking pan evenly.
6. Bake for 35 minutes (or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean).
7. Cool on a baking rack for 1/2 hour.
8. Top with chopped walnuts. I drizzled a bit of chocolate on top of mine as well.

Everything about this soup was pretty much mediocre. It wasn’t too hard to make but it wasn’t too easy, either. It tasted pretty good but it certainly wasn’t outstanding. I love the taste of asparagus raw, steamed, and roasted…so I just assumed that this recipe would be an automatic home run. It occurred to me, though, that different kinds of people have different kinds of tastes and that I shouldn’t exclude it just because *I* thought it was average. Perhaps this is a great recipe that I just can’t appreciate yet. LOL

So here’s how you make it:

• Cut the tips off 2lbs of asparagus and set aside. Cut the stalks into 1″ pieces.
• Saute 1 medium white onion and 1/4 cup of pine nuts in butter for about 5 minutes.
• Add 4 cups of vegetable broth, asparagus stalks, 1 teaspoon of thyme and bring to a boil.
• Reduce heat and simmer for 20 minutes.
• While broth is simmering, boil asparagus tips in water for 5 minutes. Drain and run under cold water to stop the cooking process. Set aside.
• Puree broth and stalks and cooled tips in a food processor until smooth.
• Return to pan and slowly stir in 1/2 cup half-and-half cream, the juice of 1 lemon, salt and pepper.

I finished off my Memorial Day celebration with a nice grilled portabello mushroom and bruschetta burger. The bruschetta was made with fresh tomatoes (without seeds), basil, salt, pepper, and just a drizzle of olive oil. I brushed the portabello mushroom with a little bit of Wegmans‘ basting oil and just threw it on the grill for 15 minutes. Then I added the bruschetta and a bit of chopped mozzarella and let it melt. It was a simple and delicious ending to a nice and simple weekend.